From the Desk of Don Stewart

the Hobgoblins ...

The hobgoblins are coming, either those you recognize under their makeup and costumes, or new neighbors from the community - pretty much my favorite time of year. 

This is no time to let your guard down. When you hear the doorbell, take an extra 1/2 second to check that the hobgoblins on the other side of your door are really the cutie-pies you expect, all dressed up like princesses or pirates, before you open the door.

Also be sure to generate the most possible light around your door and walkway, both for your own safety and for those who winding their way through you decorations for a Trick-or-Treat.

It is sad to have to take that extra precaution, but times are a changin'.

-Don

If you would like more information on volunteering in helping me to get the newsletter out each month by aiding in the updating of the information on the Agencies, Support Groups and Community pages, please email me at

Don@SeniorConnection.us

Continuing to Make the Connection,
Don 

Senior Connection
P.O. Box 11929
Prescott AZ 86304
(928) 778-3747 
www.SeniorConnection.us
Don@SeniorConnection.us

Our Speakers Bureau  

In-Person presentations are available two (or more) times per month from Jan through November at noon. We urge you to attend all of these Speakers Bureau presentations at 

Las Fuentes Resort Village 
1035 Scott Drive
Prescott 86301
(the second Thursday of the month)
and
American Lutheran Church 
1085 Scott Drive
Prescott 86301
(on the fourth Thursday of the month). 

You can see what presentations are scheduled by clicking on

Senior Connection Speakers Bureau Presentations

If you would like to be added to my Bulk Mail distribution list to be notified about all Senior Connection upcoming Events, please email me at

Peeps@SeniorConnection.us

(no personal information is made available to ANY third party)

If you can't make it to one of the presentations due to weather or prior commitment, you will find that most (but not all) of the presentations will be video-taped and put up on our website within a day or two of the In-Person presentation. 

There are over 140 past Presentations that are available to you 24 hours a day on the Senior Connection Streaming website with a simple mouse click. Check all these fabulous presentations at TeleConnection.us

Informational Articles

As Caregivers, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of tasks that need to be accomplished for your loved one each day. While it’s easy to remain upbeat on good days, it’s the bad days that can leave you feeling confused, exhausted or resentful. At these times, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. 

Knowing what to expect can help tremendously in your ability to cope. Knowledge is Power! Each month in this newsletter we include one or more articles on topics relating to the joys and challenges of aging and caregiving.

Please let me know if you find the articles useful and what other topics you’d like to see.

Part of the organization system that is recommended for most senior citizens is the active presence of a close family member or friend who takes the role of Caregiver. The job description of a Caregiver is pretty wide ranging and can include anything from buying your groceries, to making sure your Medicare paperwork is all correct, to doing your taxes to cleaning your living space. In fact, there really is no list of jobs that makes a resume of a good Caregiver except for the one job of doing “whatever you need done that you can't do yourself.”

But another quirk of the job of care giving is that it is an unpaid position. Your Caregiver does what they do for one reason – to take care of you. If you can step back and look at it objectively, that’s a pretty amazing job especially because as old age advances, the demands on the Caregiver can get more and more stressful.

While it’s not something we talk about openly, senior citizens have a reputation of being a bit (or a lot) demanding. Part of it is the many challenges seniors face just at a time when we are least able to handle them. Medical problems, fatigue and depression can be so debilitating that we are less able to tackle the issues of senior life just when they really need to be tackled.

Often, a Caregiver is a family member who may live close-by to you. Since this important person is a family member, its easy to 'unload' on them when you don’t feel good, when you are confused, when you feel angry (which may be a lot) or when you need something done. It’s easy to get impatient with them when something needs attention and they are not there to attend to it. And it’s easy to want that family member to stay with you and never go home. You get lonely - if they were there all the time, then you wouldn’t have to worry about something coming up that you can't handle.

Seniors and Family Caregivers caught up in this relationship need a reality check with each other about what a Family Caregiver can be to you and what they cannot be. Your Caregiver is not (a) a live in maid, (b) your personal slave, (c) responsible for everything wrong in your life or (d) a person who lives only for your needs. This wonderful person may have a family and a job and the obligations that go with them. You cannot expect them to drop those things to attend to you exclusively. By being a little more receptive to the needs of the Family Caregiver, seniors will find themselves on a better track to having the right relationship with their Family Caregiver.

If you looked at the role of Caregiver through the eyes of that person who cares for you, they have a lot of conflict in their lives. Your Caregiver knows you want them to stay with you all the time. They know you are upset about your limited resources and about things that don’t work the way they used to. The weight of your upset weighs heavily on their shoulders.

There is a genuine problem known as Caregiver burn out. People who follow such things have documented many cases where a Caregiver reaches an emotional limit in trying to keep up with the demands of an aging Senior as well as their own families and jobs. You don’t want that to happen to your Caregiver. 

So is it time for you to cut your Caregiver some slack?

Don Stewart is the CEO of the Senior Connection, a trade organization that connects Seniors and Family Caregivers with Seniors Goods & Services providers in the Prescott area, and is Editor of the Caregiver Connection Newsletter. Contact him at Don@SeniorConnection.us

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"Winning or Whining?"

When you were raising that houseful of kids, it seemed that there was never a moment’s peace for you. Our senior years pose the opposite problem - getting too little time with the kids. 

The challenge is how to see more of the kids not less. There are plenty of enticements to make you want to see them more. Some of them are grown up now, so when you see them it’s like visiting with a friend, and they might even pick up the tab at the restaurant. And of course, there is that one magical world that draws to you want to see your children all the time – grandchildren. 

So how do you go about enticing those kids to get together with you? You could Whine. But you don’t want them visiting to be something they do out of guilt. You want Winning not Whining - finding ways to make them want to see you as much as you want to see them.

Whining is universally ineffective. A better (Winning) way is to be that person that they want you to be – wise old granddad and sweet loving grandma.

For some, the way to a person’s heart is through their stomachs - let them know the kitchen is always open and moochers are honored guests here.

Sometimes it gets overlooked in the hubbub of raising a family but your children will always need their mommy and daddy. If the door is open for them to call you or drop by for a glass of wine and some sage counsel, they will come through that door. 

Listen to that sixth sense that tells you that they “need a minute with you”. So much the better if they have a special coded phrase they can use to get your attention. It asks for that court of wise counsel to open for business and for that ear to be available that would listen and never judge, no matter the mess.

Then there is that magic word we spoke of earlier – grandchildren. Those little bundles of energy love to see grandpa and grandma. So by keeping the door open to them, your kids will find ways to get their little ones over to see you. Whether its for the cookies or the counsel, entice them to see you. And the more they find your house is a place of fun and love, the more they will love to come over.

And that is a Win-Win for everyone.

From the  National Conversation  on Elder Dynamics NCED.us

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If you would like to see what Support Groups are operating in our Community, please click here:
www.CaregiverConnection.us/SupportGroups

If you would like to see who our Sponsoring Members are, please click here:
www.CaregiverConnection.us/SCAgencies

If you would to learn more about Community Activities & Announcements, please click here:
www.CaregiverConnection.us/Community

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Disclaimer:
The inclusion of information about the companies listed herein does not represent an endorsement on the part of this publication, the Caregiver Connection, the Senior Connection, nor is staff or officers.
It is your responsibility to verify the validity, reliability and suitability of any of the companies with whom you may wish to do business.

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Newsletter Compiled by:
Don Stewart
Senior Connection,
www.SeniorConnection.us

We would appreciate if you would notify us at Don@SeniorConnection.us
if you learn of any changes to the above information.
Thank you!

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The information contained herein and throughout the website is for educational purposes only. It is not intended, nor should it be construed as legal, medical or financial advice. Use of this information indicates your understanding of, and agreement to the above.

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Whether you are an adult child caring for an aging parent, a spouse or sibling providing care to a relative, or a senior caring for yourself, the information and products available via the www.SeniorConnection.us website are designed to improve your quality of life. 

THE
SENIORCONNECTION.US WEBSITE

   As caregivers, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of tasks that need to be accomplished for your loved ones each day.
    Although hundreds of resources exist to help you, the hardest part can be finding what’s available. 
   Therefore, in addition to the Caregiver Connection newsletter, I am also pleased to make available to you several valuable resources via the “Senior Connection website.” This web-based one-stop Educational and Information center for Caregivers and Seniors is designed to save you time and money, as well as your sanity.
   The SeniorConnection.us website consists of a comprehensive Resource Directory, Articles on topics of relevance to caregivers and seniors, and informational Videos and Slideshows about agencies that offer help throughout Yavapai County.

SENIOR RESOURCES DIRECTORY

   The Resources Directory contains contact information for hundreds of local nonprofit, government and commercial agencies that provide helpful products and services to ease the life of caregivers. 
   Updated weekly, this searchable database will save you literally hundreds of research hours and connect you with nonprofit, government and commercial agencies that can help with every aspect of being a caregiver. 
   Categories include areas such as assisted living and skilled nursing facilities, in-home care providers, transportation, meal preparation and delivery, and financial assistance. 
   A search on one or more keywords results in all of the companies that provide a particular product or service. You can then print out the Profile of each agency that is of interest to you. 

   All on the website at: 
Senior Connection.us

INFORMATIONAL ARTICLES

Dozens of candid articles get right to the "heart of the matter," from both the Caregiver’s and Senior’s perspectives.

The Informational Articles section contains articles on a wide variety of topics relating to aging.

The articles are short and sweet, yet go directly to the heart of the matter of some of the most sensitive issues surrounding our fears and frustrations as caregivers.

No topic is off-limits and new articles are constantly being added to the website.

To read additional articles on a variety of topics, please visit the Articles section of the SeniorConnection.us website:

Articles

EDUCATIONAL VIDEOS

Educational Videos and Slideshows, narrated by recognized experts in the community, are posted on the website. Additionally, videos and slideshows featuring nonprofit and for-profit agencies that provide products or services to caregivers and seniors will be available at the website: 

Senior Connection.us